Shhhh…… They say :-/

Suh bear at 5 weeks 2 Days….showing lots of love for ma Moon shine
One of the things that most, if not all, new mothers never speak about is that not all mothers readily bond with their newborn, their bundle of joy.

I should know it happened to me, its crazy every body
says that, your don’t know what love is until you have child, when you see that little face for the first time you will be overcome with unspeakable joy. Maybe it was the 36 hours of labour, the intense pain, the world wind that got swept through my life of having a new person in my life who’s every waking and sleeping moment I have to watch, or it’s the immense amount of NEW worries that have been added to my enormous amount of life long worries I already had.
Who know!!! But what I do know that I never bonded with my baby for weeks, I just went through the motions, feed, bathe, change, cuddle and repeat. I liked her though, how she looked, how she smelt, how she behaved but that undying will walk in front of a bus for my daughter heart felt feelings I thought I should feel, absent,…..not there.
It’s strange though, if she cried so did I, when she had baby acne, I cried too and I got so mad when my husband threw her in the air, I went berserk!!!!! I spent hours with her each day and said nothing to her, no baby talk, no declaration of love or promise for her future, and really I never saw anything wrong with it, I was like well she cant respond and she wont understand so when she gets older, I never saw anything wrong until other mothers pointed it out to me; and then I was swear I was broken and I am gonna make my child socially inept.
Well, Fear not new mothers, all this is normal… strange, but very normal, as long as these lack of attachment doesn’t persist for months and you are not depressed or have suicidal tendencies, fantasizing about doing harm to your baby. Anything like that happen speak to someone, a friend your spouse a doctor and get help.
The bond with Suhri did come, like a ton of bricks, breast feeding Lil Mama one day she looked into my eyes took her mouth from nursing and grinned, a toothless grin, it wasn’t a social grin it was just a reaction she had to summen (proally gas) but that was enough, it triggered my brain and my heart, the possibilities, OMG the possibilities to see her grow, her laugh, walk, talk and really smile with me for the first time, I was brought to tears and my heart ached and then I just said what I felt,

 

“…omg Suhri’Sana’a I am soo in love with you’

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